Hopeless

I left university to be with my boyfriend. I'm an idiot. I hated it there but I could have pushed through if I was capable of looking after myself. I wrote one short story in the four months that I was there, and now I'm in over £3,000 debt. I am an idiot. 

I haven't got to the best part yet, hold on. I've been staying with my boyfriend and his parents for five months now and guess what...? He wants me to leave. Haha, isn't that hilarious?

What the fuck am I going to do? I've got no savings, no one to borrow money from, no hope at finding work. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO? 

I can stay with my mum and dad, respectively, for a few days in a month but I can't live at either of their houses. I've been on a waiting list for supported housing for as long as I've been here and haven't heard anything about that, despite sending them emails. Maybe I'll be feeling brave enough to talk to a stranger on the phone tomorrow and demand they give me somewhere to stay. Maybe not.

My mother is paying for me to see a head-doctor. She's been trying to persuade me to let her pay for counselling sessions for years, I've finally given in. I'm terrified. The first time I saw a shrink was when I was thirteen or fourteen. The bitch tried to make me confess to harming myself. I didn't say a word. She gave up. I left and never went back. It was a horrible experience. If I get a shit doctor this time, I'll let them know. Who am I fooling, I wouldn't do that.

What the fuck am I going to do?

Sincerly,
Hopeless idiot